Taxi Cab Expressions

Ok, so to expound on my experience I'm learning that one should not give ride to chick who has frucked your friend. Yes I said frucked! Let's give this woman the alias of Tom Cruise. So Tom has been banging my buddy, hmm, let's give him the tag of Boris Yeltson. Now Tom was telling me how great Boris is and all. Previously Tom had the hots for me but I'm not into tom like that. Please bare with me and follow along. We're still cool you know, so its no biggie. Now I've known Boris for a long time so I'm happy for the both of them. Well come to find out old Tom isn't as happy as he said before and think that Boris is smothering him. If you ask me tom has had his fill of Boris and wants a new bitchling. So I'm out I hang out with Tom a little bit. Tom is a bit pushy and is used to getting its way. Tom has a hot friend and her codename will be Black Eye. Now Black Eye had a little bit much to drink when I met it. Fast forward, Black Eye is embarrassingly drunk and Tom Cruise is acting like he didn't get it drunk. Poor Black Eye, he didnt' have a chance. you ko wyou're drunk when you dance like Jackie Chanin the "Drunken Master". Now let's rip another hole in the fabric of time to my getting call about them being lost. Tom Says that they are lost downtown. Mind you they are just walking two blocks, TWO BLOCKS! How do you get lost going two blocks? who the fuck does that? Ok, back to reality. They are lost. So I say I'll give you guys a ride home. Mindyou just being a good samaritan. I don't want pussy payments. They were both drunk and there's no need to try to get home on a full stomach of redheaded sluts....ugh!!!
While in the car old Tom gives me that look like He wants some. This is where this blog gets wierd. I'm thinking to myself, "Tom just last week was Fucking Boris Yeltson? He really thinks he's gonna get me in bed. The nerve, now that's a missiong impossible!" So Tom immediatly re-enrolls himself into his kindergarten class and starts fiddling with shitin the car and arguing with Black Eye about dumb shit. I put up with it for about 15 minutes then I feel that wierd pressure that usually comes before you start bleeding at the ears. I turn the music up hoping to avoid these two banchees rattling off thier nonsense about who's hotter. then they start arguing then the conversation turns to me. Now they are drunk and I'm using all the power of the force that yoda taught me but i can't resist. I tell Tom Cruise he's a brat. Tom immediately gets quiet after acting like a brat. After pouting for a while. I finally get Tom and Black Eye to thier house., and Black Eye eludes to that fact the it wants a peice of this. Yeah that's convienient. I could've gotten some road head for the trouble. Now lets keep score.

1. I gave the great Tom Cruise the spouse of Boris Yeltson my friend, and Black Eye a ride home.
2. Tom Cruise acts like a 3 year old biotch whole ride home.
3. After alerting Tom Cruise to his adolesant behavior he takes out his herion needle to shoot up.
4. Tom thinks its going to pay me in sex. (Bad move Tom, You're boning my boy Boris)
5. I almost stopped the truck and kicked both thier black ops asses out of the truck!