Dog,Cat, Mouse!

Crazy World

If you want to see an inter species threesome here ya go!

What You Stand For

When you're in your nineties and looking back, it's not going to be how much money you made or how many awards you've won. It's really, what did you stand for. Did you make a positive difference for people?

-Elizabeth Dole

dub---Nights-2

dub---Nights-2
Originally uploaded by christophkrieger@sbcglobal.net.

TEST

Flickr

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Oh, dead turkey you got me good!

Long time no hear from huh? Have you read my blog? Do you like it? Well you'd do well to remind so I can keep this damn thing up. I totally forgot about this blog. How did I do that? Well, when you get a case of the readprintsnitches then you begin to have a little bit of distaste for blogging. But I'm sitting here to talk about the damn turkey.

Evil turkey, bad bad turkey. First off I don't even really like the holidays. It usually bums me out.
Now I'm doing my best to improve my dementia on the holidays and try to build a tivo into my brains so I can replay my October for 59 days straight as to not avoid New Years Eve. I'll of course make promises to my pseudo drunk self as if I care. Now the one thing about thanks giving I do remember is all the food and adults laughing and talking about things about. The thing I hate about TG is the shitlings, or chitterlings. I know there was a time when you had to eat absolutely every part of the pig to survive. I don't thing there was an animal on a farm who was exempt from mouth demolition, but hell, for some reason that piggly wiggly got the prize for baest bang for your buck! Well you know there's the smell. You know the part of the Matrix when Agent Smith says, "Its the smell, if there is such a thing?" There is a such a thing and it pisses me off to have to clean the poop bugs out of a mop busket of chitterlings. I've done it once and only once. Maybe twice, but I blocked that out of my mind just like when I saw that He-Man was a fairy.

Ok, My buddy loves the chitterlings. Good for him. Its just not my thing. I remember the first time cleaning them and I saw the busket they came in. I looked over and saw the same red busket with a paint brush in it. The good thing about chitterlings is that it does promote reusable recourses. I mean, we all know what they are and if you can find a way to make supper out of a poop tube then you're pretty damn resourceful.

So after having the revelation that chitterlings stink, are hard to clean, and only provide me with useful mop buskets. I thought, "Well maybe they will taste good?" Negative Houston! You have to cover this jelly pool with anything that's hot sauce based. Two thre drops of hot sauce (tabasco) and you're pretty good. (Of you're using Tabasco you're probably not going to be eating chitterlings) But no, It is once agian the great flood and you must cover the earth in hot sauce to virtually numb every taste bud on your tube to fool you're idiot palette that you are eating a poop tube. So lets forget everything I just told you and move over to other dishes. No, let's stop there.

BG

Check out the BG for my Myspace Page.

V-Trains for V-Day!!!

So what is Valentine’s Day really? I work too much so I didn’t have much to do on the day of valentines. I know there’s much insight into how everything about any holiday we have is over commercialized. Well, if you think about it, that’s what America is all about.
One thing that is weird is how things being commercially over used don’t really result in a more emotionally involved holiday. You know, getting in the spirit of things. Maybe thing move by too fast. Maybe we need to take time to do things ourselves instead of outsourcing the crap of our favors for our sweeties. I was thinking about the last time I actually did something for the holiday and how nice it was. I thought of doing something nice this year, but there really isn’t a central figure in my life, so no need to make any reservations for dinner and what not. Also, if it’s a holiday, why not treat it like one? Why not have a citywide Valentine’s Get Together? A huge bash adorned with hearts a word of affection for all. Maybe Valentine’s Day is about love? Could it be that it’s more about Companionship? I’ve come around to the ideal that companionship is the basis of the house that is love. Not to stray in the muck river that is the emotion of love and its Siamese twin hate, I think that’s what it’s about. We are so connected via blog, email, and other technologies that you can’t connect on a personal level. Face to face, to say that you appreciate someone you know? Now onto my more usual self, the one who thinks this is all bullshit. I got a damn Scooby-Doo VALENTINE!!!!! I’m looking at it now. I’m wondering if there’s a way I can destroy the dog without PETA hunting me down and skinning me alive. Oh yea, not to mention because I’m a guy I’m supposed to but all the roses in Southern Ohio huh? How sexist?! How about some chow for V-day? Or how about V-Train V-day?!

Overload Baby!!

3 jobs, Nuff said Dammit!

Love Referee

Have you ever just wondered if we need or own personal referee for our everdy lives? I mean if we get out of hand and or treated unfair or wronged in some way. Maybe we could have wierd calls like, "intentional frowning." Or maybenot to have a full scale officiating team for your everyday life, but only when it counts. Like when you have a big decision to make, or when you're in a heatd debate with someone. You should be able to throw the challenge flag when you think you need a review. Case in point, when you get pulled over for a ticket and you were speeding. You should be able to throw the challenge flag on the cops to see if it was actually you that was speeding. Or if you make a bad call on a personal decision like wearing the right colored shoes. If someone comes by and says some pure moronic gem like, "Wow those shoes are nice. Are they new?" Knowing full well that you've had this pair of shoes for nine months. You should be able to hit the jerk with a "False Start" penalty and make he or she repeat thierself. The penalty would be a kickin that nuts. Of course the accused can choose to challenge the play, but only if he or she sincerely believed the shoes where new. The referee would have to reivew the play to see how the person truly felt when they hit you with the obvious lame call.

Creativity Is Genius

I had the hardest time coming up with some sort of slogan or branding tool for my company. I was thinking that it had to be straight to the point, yet leave room for someone as artsy as myself. So I came up with "Creativity is Genius". The end goal was to be able to apply that phrase not only to the graphic design portion of my business, but also to the whole branding experience that may come with the company. I'm interesting in all sorts of design from product design to architectural design. I'm hoping that we can take the company to the next level and branch out and begin to use the slogal more or less as the brand for the company.

The Company name in Krieger Imaging & Multmedia, LLC, "Creativity Is Genius"
www.kriegerimaging.com

Dairy of a Mad Pomeranian

Ok, so I've had this whacky idea for a comic strip about an angry pomeranian. I've sat on this since 2001. I got to think recently that I have a lot of ideas and never really expound on them. So here it is. No promises, and no guarantees. I'm going to finally produce the strip. A little inof or background on the history of Chino the Angry Pomeranian. First off this character was concieved on Sept. 11th 2001. Of course this is a very emotionally and politically charged day for the United States. Amidst the circumstances I was talking with a friend about anti-terrorism operations. One way to cope with such extreme situations is humor. By making a character it would allow me to apply my anger and cynicism in a more postitive or at least more understandable way. My me, I love totake things that are at least considered normal and make them more than what they are. The thought of an angry pomerian that fights terrorism is kind of silly. I don't quite know if its funny, but I thought it was. then I got to thinking. What if my character was totally politically incorrect? I know its been done before, but what if all the characters around him were equally crooked? They would all be animals or something that some what resembles an animal. For example, Chino is a pretty high strung cheeky character that because of his size and resemblance to a chiguagua is accuse of being Mexican. Although in pop culture we associate one with the other. So he's usually hit with all sorts of stereotypes from spanish speaking people asking him to roll-over to people asking him for the Taco-Bell dog's autograph. I'm sure its been done before, but i'mhoping the mix of humor along with the different character's interactions. I've already had roughs on about 6 differenet characters. I hope to push out at least two strips a month. It may be too big of a taking, but I'll perhaps make it a blog to get faster feedback on the strip itself. I'll put a few posts up with the drafts as i get them

Taxi Cab Expressions

Ok, so to expound on my experience I'm learning that one should not give ride to chick who has frucked your friend. Yes I said frucked! Let's give this woman the alias of Tom Cruise. So Tom has been banging my buddy, hmm, let's give him the tag of Boris Yeltson. Now Tom was telling me how great Boris is and all. Previously Tom had the hots for me but I'm not into tom like that. Please bare with me and follow along. We're still cool you know, so its no biggie. Now I've known Boris for a long time so I'm happy for the both of them. Well come to find out old Tom isn't as happy as he said before and think that Boris is smothering him. If you ask me tom has had his fill of Boris and wants a new bitchling. So I'm out I hang out with Tom a little bit. Tom is a bit pushy and is used to getting its way. Tom has a hot friend and her codename will be Black Eye. Now Black Eye had a little bit much to drink when I met it. Fast forward, Black Eye is embarrassingly drunk and Tom Cruise is acting like he didn't get it drunk. Poor Black Eye, he didnt' have a chance. you ko wyou're drunk when you dance like Jackie Chanin the "Drunken Master". Now let's rip another hole in the fabric of time to my getting call about them being lost. Tom Says that they are lost downtown. Mind you they are just walking two blocks, TWO BLOCKS! How do you get lost going two blocks? who the fuck does that? Ok, back to reality. They are lost. So I say I'll give you guys a ride home. Mindyou just being a good samaritan. I don't want pussy payments. They were both drunk and there's no need to try to get home on a full stomach of redheaded sluts....ugh!!!
While in the car old Tom gives me that look like He wants some. This is where this blog gets wierd. I'm thinking to myself, "Tom just last week was Fucking Boris Yeltson? He really thinks he's gonna get me in bed. The nerve, now that's a missiong impossible!" So Tom immediatly re-enrolls himself into his kindergarten class and starts fiddling with shitin the car and arguing with Black Eye about dumb shit. I put up with it for about 15 minutes then I feel that wierd pressure that usually comes before you start bleeding at the ears. I turn the music up hoping to avoid these two banchees rattling off thier nonsense about who's hotter. then they start arguing then the conversation turns to me. Now they are drunk and I'm using all the power of the force that yoda taught me but i can't resist. I tell Tom Cruise he's a brat. Tom immediately gets quiet after acting like a brat. After pouting for a while. I finally get Tom and Black Eye to thier house., and Black Eye eludes to that fact the it wants a peice of this. Yeah that's convienient. I could've gotten some road head for the trouble. Now lets keep score.

1. I gave the great Tom Cruise the spouse of Boris Yeltson my friend, and Black Eye a ride home.
2. Tom Cruise acts like a 3 year old biotch whole ride home.
3. After alerting Tom Cruise to his adolesant behavior he takes out his herion needle to shoot up.
4. Tom thinks its going to pay me in sex. (Bad move Tom, You're boning my boy Boris)
5. I almost stopped the truck and kicked both thier black ops asses out of the truck!

Just who the hell are you?

http://-dub-.blogspot.com/2005/09/ok-get-this-weed-begger.html

Clarett: Planned Intervention

Oh yes! Happy New Year! I need a ticket to the Fiesta Bowl. So give me your damn money and your cafeteria pass!


Dear Maurice Clarett,

I'm writing you today from my jail cell pleading for you to turn your life around. I see that you've been given too much to fast. I represent the office of penal corrections cell block 4 1/2 here at teh Chillicothe Prison. We all here really appreciate your help witht eh bowl gamea few years ago. However, if your dumb ass doesn't clean it up you're going to end up in here with us and the office of penis corrections. We don't want to see that. I dont' think you'd want to meet my roommate "Lunchmeat", nor would I like to hear the sounds of you being gang raped in the shower by the Catholic Priest Varisty Fondling Team. You had the owrld in your hands and you can still turn it around. Now Lunch is not happy that I'm making this plea for your hole. Save your hole my friend. Stop being lazy when you try out and at least give a strong effort at your next interview at McDonald's. So waht you can run a 4.7 40 yd dash. I bet you can't make 24 Big Macs in a minute?! Get your shit together before they start doping you up lik e they did Ricky Williams. Do you really think he was in Austrailia? Nah, he was here. Ask him about 4th and two balls to go? Get your shit together cotton mouth!

P.S. Lunchmeat says hi and wants to know if you're the master of your domain.

Amore Paralyzed

I used to think my life was pretty boring, but I also never considered actaully documenting it. I've been having a lot of thoughts about companionship. Not Love persay, but companionship. With things the way they have been going i'm beginning to truly see its value. There's only so much one can truly share with a blank page or a keyboard. Being so guarded definately has its advantages and also its serious pitfalls. but now I can see that sewing ones life along with another's thread to make something bigger and better than one has alone. So where now? I can see the magic and what it can do for others. So now I know what it can do will I make a pace for it. Such a chance, such a gamble to shoot craps with the idea that something may be spark in the night. The invisible strain that's the bridge between two people to be maintained. Only time will tell.

Leaping Pidgeon Dangerous Tit-T

So its time for another installment of the dub blog. Hence fourth, I shall code my adventures in wierd titles and subjects such as the one above. So far this month things have slowed down and so has my energy level. The website work has screached to a hault. Very discouraging by far. Although I've mae the move to a new webhosting service who refuses to let me take my url to the new host. What a bunch of "Mondays" (aka Assholes). I have to call them yet thier lines are always busy. What's that about?

Onto the Main event!

Its Saturday night. I'm pretty bored, I've been vegging all day. I passed up on the Hockey game once more. I've been saying I'm going to go for years. Its about 10pm and the snow has just started coming down. I decide to go down to one of my favorite watering holes for a drink or two. Convinced that the night will be whack all my buddies that work there are standing there moping. Now I must tell this place is called "Newcoms Tavern", I have no historical story or background as of this moment. It went form being your regular bar with 10 year old tables and bar stools to this quasi-shiek place that really doesn't no matter how much mohogany stained wood they putin the joint. Facelift aside its still the place I love. The dark colors will come in the story later. Now its a bit after ten and we're all just yapping in up and having a few drinks and then the motors gets warm. Rob decides its time for shots. hmm?

Yes, one Red Bull and Stoli coming up, then a YeagerBomb, then three more Bud Lights and I'm there. You know? Alcohol is magic, because I swear I dont' remember the other 150 people coming into the bar but oh well. After getting my groove on with one of area's finest latina's I noticed that I was pretty damn drunk. Although in an altered stated I was called on by one of my compadres to check out a group of women. "Hey Dub, go see if they're gay!" Interesting proposition considering that I took one look and said, "Yeah, they're gay." "No man, go see, just go dance with them.", he said. "Ok, but they're gay, but I'll let you know if I'm right." So I venture okver and start to dance with them. I avoiding the 50 year bug eyed woman who seemed to have an attachment to my ass. Now the trio were not a scant group. They were attractive. They were "together" and I just started getting my groove on.

The Sandwhich eventually broke apart and I had to mingle with my buddies which was no big deal. I noticed all night this chick wearing this hat that made her look killa sexy. Rob pointed her out and basically put a mental "That ass is mine" on her. No after much encouragement Rob still didn'twant any play. So while I'm mingling near the stairs. Sorry not to mention this but the place has an upstairs dance floor with one long flight of stairs form it going to the first floor. I'm having a good time joking and what not the BOOM!!!

Oh yes! The fine ass girl with the hat has just tried her leaping pidgeon technique and man would Master Lee be so so upset. This woman did not fall, she fell or rather slammed to the steps as if she grew hindges and was connected to the steps. Its not funny when they fall, but to the most of all degrees she fell terrifically! Now this is a hard thing to do. You don't just learn how to belly smack going down a flight of stairs over night. No, this takes practice baby! REal showmanship and class that only a drunken bitch could display!


-dub-

2:20 am I stay home and trouble still finds me.

So I was chatting witha friend on the phone and then I hung up and put on the headphones. I'm still working on my biz site. I got Lil'Jon's "I don't give a Fuck " playing on itunes. I'm rocking with teh phones blasting thinking of flash and online shopping carts. I hear faintly in the background, "Help!". Now mind you I'm listening to ah song where the lyrics in the chorus are "I don't give a fuck nigga!". So I hear again, "I don't give a fuck nigga!.....help!" I'm sleeping but not that shleepy and I know there's no remix. Think it was my neighbor I go to the door. Didn't sound like him. I was puzzled. He was downstairs so I figure my downstairs neighbor maybe drunk and jsut locked out or something. Then as I cautiously open the door and I see in the front windows the reflection of a guy laying on the floor. What the fuck? I don't know this man. "Help me brotha please, my legs is broke". This guy's ankle was making a turn without the rest of his damn lower leg. I jump on the phone get 911 over here. I got to open the door so that the cops will know where the guy is and as I come out two patrolman approching. "Please take your hand outof your pocket!", "Take your hand out of pocket!". So being a smart ass I say, "Don't worry its just my semi-automatic cordless phone". The nerve of the pair. One cop was older in his 40's the other had to be my age... The old one is cool. Hanging back as I would. After seeing the guy on the ground he dismisses me as a pro would, but the youngin' is still looking at my pocket. LOL! I had the phone hanging out of my pocket. He's casing me and I called them! This didnt' escalate into anything but I thought it was funny that he thought my phone was a hand held rocket laucher! After thuroughly inspecting my AK-Aiwa corless machine phone, he proceeded to badger the guy with the macaroni ankle. If you would've seenthis guys leg you'd thought you were watching a Jet Li movie or Steve Segal doing the whole eblow break thing he does. After about 15 minutes of this man crying in the lobby he was gone and I'm writing this blog chuckling becasue my neighbors are home, awake, and this guy was going to get no help... The next time I ahve to call the cops I'll be sure to come out with my Scream mask and Waffle irom swinging so they can tell me to "Drop the scary waffles sir!!!".

Whew Halloween

Man on man, its been a busy few weeks. This past Halloween was kind of a drag seeing that all my buddies moved out of twon and thier wasn't anyone to roll with for the festivities. I managed as only I can do. I wish i would have taken more pictures. I didn't take any LOL! Anyway, this damn daylight saving time shit is killing me big time. With all my biz projects dragging along it never seems like I have enough time to get anything done!!!! Grrrrr. I'm starting to see that I have to pull people into my circle. Gotta end here...